Polite dating rejection letter

I am not convinced that anyone is ever truly ready to get married.Readiness can become a carrot on a stick, an ideal that can never be achieved.It seems that my great grandparents’ rule forbidding my grandmother from going out with the same guy twice in a row was a common rule in those days.The Greatest Generation was encouraged to date and discouraged from going steady while in middle school.This is different from my generation, which is encouraged to “wait until you are ready to get married” before pursuing a romantic relationship.This advice, when combined with the fact that “the purpose of courtship is marriage”, makes asking a girl out for dinner the emotional equivalent of asking for her hand in marriage.

This telegraphed to everyone at school that she was “off the market” and that she had a “steady beau”.So I humbled myself and took my grandmother out for dinner to hear why she thought courtship was a bad idea all those years ago.She had predicted the failure of courtship back in the 90s and I wanted to understand how and why. After 20 years there still is no general consensus as to what courtship is.Visits and comments poured in from all over the country about how to make courtship work and why it did not work. I’m talking the kind of couples who first kissed at their wedding were filing for divorce. The deal was that if we put up with the rules and awkwardness of courtship now we could avoid the pain of divorce later.Each year I waited for courtship to start working and for my homeschool friends to start getting married. The whole point of courtship was to have a happy marriage, not a high divorce rate.

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